Every Little Thing
by Scarlette O'Hara
Summary: Olivia's job has gotten to her. She has fallen into a trap of depression and selfmutilation.
1. Chapter 1

Every Little Thing 

By Scarlette O'Hara

Summary: Olivia can't take it anymore. She's worked herself too hard and she has been physiologically tinkered with over time. Her mind has pulled her into the world of confusion and self-mutilation.

Note: I don't own very much…these characters happen to be some of those things that I don't own…so sad.

"If I have to put one more pair of handcuffs on another criminal, I think I'll bust, Elliot. I really don't think I can take it anymore. It's really starting to get at me. I need some time off." Olivia slowly hung up the phone and sighed as she put her head in her hands.

_What am I gonna do? This has never been a problem before. I don't have time to get another job. I'm always thinking about it. Always. I hate it. A little time off will let me be able to relax and finally get my mind off of everything. _

As Olivia got up to go to bed, she passed her windowsill. She had been repainting her walls and windows. A razor used to scrape the paint off the glass was just setting there. Harmlessly. She stared at it for a few seconds while all the thoughts of her career rushed through her mind. She started to reach out for the little scrap of metal, but pulled her arm in quickly frowning. She left it there and walked away. Her mind went numb and she went to sleep.

The next day at work, Olivia made a b-line to the captain's office.

"Hi."

"Good morning. I'm glad you came in; I wanted to talk to you about the case you and Elliot have been working on. How is that coming along?"

"Actually, it's a dead end. Captain, I need to take a few days off."

"In the middle of a case? No. I can't let you, sorry."

"Cap, I really need it."

Captain Cragen could sense the urgency, so he gave in. Olivia didn't ask for vacation often.

"All right. You can have a week. I expect you back bright and early next week, though. Be ready for another case."

Olivia left satisfied. Cragen's last words put an uneasy edge on Olivia's heart. What would be the point of taking time off to heal if she would just come back to another hell-bound case?

None of the other detectives asked the captain where Olivia went that next week. They could all see the effects of her job all over her expression. What used to be an upbeat, content smile was now a droopy, tired frown. They knew she needed it.

Olivia went home and turned on the TV. It was the middle of the morning; all that was on were talk shows and the comedy part of the news. She turned it off and lay down on the couch. Her eyes were open and she was so tired. Tired of work, tired of life. A little tear fell from the corner of her eye and onto her resting hand. Slowly, she drifted into unconsciousness.

An hour or two had gone by. Olivia woke up and made her way to the bathroom. Again, she passed that same window with that same small razor. Its only purpose was to get rid of the pesky extra paint on the window glass. If it could make all the extra paint leave, maybe it could make all of her extra pain disappear. She picked it up and slid down the wall onto the carpet to banish all of her numbness.

A/N: I have wanted to write this for a very long time. I just never had the time. I will most definitely write more even if no one likes it. I like it too much. So…. if a reader feels like he or she should review…I would appreciate it. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Every Little Thing: Chapter 2 By Scarlette O'Hara 

Summary: Olivia's problems seem to have come to a drastic halt. Could her small, silver way out have helped her? Her colleagues catch wind of her methods.

Note: I don't own any of the characters from the show…and I can't remember if I made any, so if you are sure they aren't in any other show…I probably pulled them out of the back of my mind.

"Well, you look rested," Elliot called out as Olivia walked through the precinct doors the next week.

"Yeah. I feel it," she responded.

After a few hours of deskwork, Olivia became warm as the heaters kicked on. She pulled off her jacket and hung it over the back of her chair. A loose, short-sleeved blouse covered her slim figure. Elliot looked at her; all of her movement distracted him. They exchanged glances and got back to work. It was a rainy day and nothing had been reported. All of Olivia and Elliot's old cases were wrapped up and filed. There was nothing to do. All day, they sat and took care of other people in the building's paperwork. She was finally happy. That morning had slipped her mind since it happened. Olivia reached across the desk to Elliot's side to grab a paperclip. With her arm turned up, she remembered. The small, thin, red lines stacked along her wrist were evident and exposed. Quickly, she pulled her arms to her lap and kept them there until she could think of a solution. Finally, she claimed she was chilled and put her jacket back on. Even though everyone else in the office was burning up, she stuck to her story.

By the time she got home, all of her built-up anxiety from work had surfaced and she found her little silver escape and touched it to her skin again. First, she turned her left arm over with the metal in her right hand. One small tick in the wrinkle where her hand bent over. Another just below it. Her blue veins raised and small beads of red gathered at intervals across the lines. No satisfaction was to be found. She still hurt. She traded hands. A thought sprung her mind: "What if they see? How can I explain?" She started pulling the razor vertically instead of horizontally. A cat scratched her. Yes, that will be the answer. The other one? That was from some paper at work, of course. Quickly, excuses burst into her mind all at once. This drove her to more and more tiny lines across her veins and down her arms. They burned.

After she stopped. She felt a calmness that brought her to her senses for a moment. "I will never do this again. This is stupid. I'm so stupid." She didn't cry. She couldn't. She wouldn't. She felt nothing, so she went to sleep.

The next morning, she showed up to work in a sweater. All day, she roasted in the heat of the building. Her body was begging for fieldwork. Finally, her wish was granted. She and Elliot went to arrest a suspect. The man came outside calmly and Olivia explained everything to him, read him his rights, and then took out her handcuffs. A crazed look came over the man's eyes when he took one look at them. He reached his hands out to hers and grabbed her wrists. She jerked them back in pain, but he held on tighter. Elliot was making a phone call and didn't see this ruckus until Olivia cried out. Elliot rushed over and slammed the man against the car and put the cuffs on him. Olivia regained her composure at once and held her hands in her lap.

When the man grabbed her, the thin scabs on her wrists split and started to bleed. She didn't notice it until Elliot pointed it out.

"Hey, what happened?" Elliot asked.

She looked down, "Oh, nothing. It must have been where he grabbed me," she lied.

Elliot looked at her, puzzled and went back to work. A whiff of relief washed over Olivia.

The day was finally over. Olivia could go home and relax and use her own remedy of stress-relief.

A/N: Umm…I don't really know about this chapter…I might change it later. Whatever. Read and review please. 


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